@therealelp: jesus could get on twitter and be like "fear not, child. i know for a fact that your going to heaven!" and someone would be like "you're".
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@platinum2000: [Haunted House] Ghost:You've been here a week Me: I like you G:You knew what this was M: I thought I was your boo G: I say that to everyone
@thesulk: I think Sandra Bullock chooses movies based solely on the number of times she can say "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"
@kwirkyKerri: You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose.
@WilliamAder: Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Hearing now that the government closed the Grand Canyon. Not sure if they roll a tarp over it or how that works.