@davedittell: Jesus hands his iPhone to da Vinci, "hey can you get one of me and my best buds? thanks man! HEY EVERYONE GET ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE TABLE"
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@Laser_Cat: "I live as a mountain man because I enjoy the isolation and I hate people. Film crews are cool though." - Mountain Men on History Channel
@trojansauce: [interview] "what's you're biggest weakness?" *whispers* "sorry i couldn-" I CANT CONTROL MY VOLUME
@KenJennings: The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
@AndyAsAdjective: When the chips are down, be a good friend & say a few kind words to the chips. See if that helps.