@QwertyJones3: [vacuuming]
Pick up your feet please.
Kid on sofa: No!
Ok *sucks kid into vacuum feet first*
*turns to next kid* Pick up your feet please.
@SondraDeeMe: My dream of making Playboy gone, so my best bet is National Geographic photographing me naked, carrying water on my head.
@MarcusTheToken: A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you.
@MatCro: COP: Can you describe your attacker?
ME: No
COP: Didn't you see him?
ME: Yes, but I have a poor grasp of adjectives
@timdonakowski: Want proof advertising works?
I just bought a Goodyear blimp.
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