@MCaparco: Jesus??? Nah, Vishnu is my copilot...he's got like 4 arms.
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@MissNaughty1801: 7y:why are you putting make up on? Me:to look nicer 7y:when does it start working?
@foodfacenow: Interview Boss: What could you bring to this company? Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.
@SpankMeIm0ty: At the rate I'm throwing shit out as I pack to move there's a strong possibility not all the kids will make it to the new house
@le_buns: "would u like some dessert?" i ask the moose head above the fireplace "no thanks im stuffed" i reply, in a slightly deeper voice