@MCaparco: Jesus??? Nah, Vishnu is my copilot...he's got like 4 arms.
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@JCWisdomNuggets: Next time a dude says "Pictures or it didn't happen", punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched.
@itsa_talia: my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him.
@JKNenagh: I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [God making water] "it helps plants" ANGEL: nice "cleans things" A: ok "u die if u don't drink it" A: "& drown if u drink it wrong" A: what