@curlycomedy: Jesus said to love your neighbor, but makes no mention about putting up with their music at 3am.
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@dru0887: No, LinkedIn. I would not like to link my Twitter account but thank you for trying to get me unemployed for life.
@est1975blog: I didn't realize how parenting had changed me until I was walking by my 7yo with an ice cream sandwich down my pants so he wouldn't see it
@hipchkk: In choosing clinical logic and detached isolation over laughter and passion, you went full-Vulcan. Everyone knows you never go full-Vulcan.
@AGreaterMonster: The mechanic has informed me that the shrieking sound I hear in my car on my way to work is apparently me.