@AnOrangeSNES: "Jesus take the wheel!" I shout, but Jesus decided to pop out of the sunroof firing a machine gun at our pursuers instead.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Carbosly: You say "save the date", I hear "more time to come up with an excuse of why I'm not going."
@internetluke: [wife explaining to me how deaths in movies work] So the actors really don't die? "No" So is Abraham Lincoln really not dead? *she sighs*
@robdelaney: My wife went on a lot of roller coasters when she was pregnant with our daughter Katelyn, and you can tell :(