@sgtblueeyes: Jesus walks on water and everyone is impressed. I walk on water and I'm seriously concerned about this ice breaking...
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@BruceForce: Haha, murder? No officer, I just wanted to see what would happen if I planted a human
@hasht4g: If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they'd make those tube things like 5 feet long.
@Book_Krazy: If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you.
@jessicaa1017: Waitress at Olive Garden tells me to say "when" and starts grating cheese on my salad I say nothing Room fills with Parmesan No one survives