@sgtblueeyes: Jesus walks on water and everyone is impressed. I walk on water and I'm seriously concerned about this ice breaking...
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@Mr_Kapowski: New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One
@Uniquicorn: *Joe Biden nibbles Obama's ear* - Please stop it *Joe whispers* Say it - No go away *angrily whispers* Say it! - ...please stop Biden my ear