@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian.
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@platinum2000: If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does...
@Dutch_50: Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once.
@superdadatron: I'm testing my theory that I can get away with putting a 0 or N/A in a work report that requires answers when I don't know the answers.
@jonnysun: sitting is bad for u, but the standing desk is all wrong. i present to u… *unveils computer hanging from ceiling with a bed underneath it*