@NoorShamma: Jewelry make the perfect gifts because if things don't work out, she can throw them away and make you suffer. Take Titanic for example.
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@GensPlace: Spiders have it about right. If he doesn't bring her a snack when he courts her it's curtains..
@matt___nelson: [at restaurant trying not to let anyone know I'm a koala] Waiter: "what can I get u?" "do u have any eucalyptus?" *restaurant goes quiet*
@7_Cents: Vin Diesel: Is it fast? Car Salesman: Yes, sir. It is very fast. Vin Diesel: Oh yeah? *leans in close* Is it furious?
@shatterpants: I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want.