@peteec: Jim Lehrer is moderating this debate with the skill of an NFL replacement referee.
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@Reverend_Scott: [running away from killer] KILLER: YOU'RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I'LL GET U ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO KILLER: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
@FatBottomGirl1: We've secretly replaced the G with a K on this bottle of Jergens. Let's see if he notices.
@dubiousrhetoric: Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Don't be mean to my friend. Her: Your friend just broke in my door and almost strangled me. Me: I said he was my friend, not yours.