@beefman138: Joan of Arc was great, but nothing compared to her sister, Joan of Circumference, who was a much more rounded person.
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@scott2ten: Co-worker: Face up or face down? Me: Um. What? Cw: The fax machine? Documents face up or down? Me: I'm not mature enough to answer that.
@Schmoodles: If I ever have a heart attack, I'm deleting my internet history before I call an ambulance. Better safe than sorry.
@ninjadinosaur1: I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you've obviously never slept with my sister Ashley.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Thinking of having kids? Practice getting small children ready to play in the snow by wrestling a pair of gloves onto an angry octopus.