@shutupmikeginn: Job Posting: local pond looking to hire tadpole, must have previous experience as frog
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@skylerhanrath: Mike: Mom! We're out of burrito paper! Mom: Dammit Mike, they're tortillas. You're twenty six.
@AIMMadellynne: Last night,my friend changed all my contacts in my phone.I've been texted by Batman Donatello,Hermione Granger.I have no idea who they are.
@thejessbess: Hey Guinevere *knight flips up his visor* Hast thou considered my proposal? Because *unsheathes blade* I'm sword of a big deal.