@shutupmikeginn: Job Posting: local pond looking to hire tadpole, must have previous experience as frog
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@stevevsninjas: Sir, your wife was stabbed ten times, but the missing piece is the murder weapon. So far we have nothing, Mr *checks notes* Scissorhands.
@DonQuickoats: I don't even know how my dog can even think how I might fall for the notion someone else tore apart my shoe
@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'.