@jwoodham: JOB REQUIREMENTS: Must have a college degree. Must have 5 years experience. Must have volunteered as tribute and won the 74th Hunger Games.
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@SteveSuckington: Welcome to Gullible Victim Club. Lol. I can't believe you showed up. Now gimme your purse or I'll stab you.
@ThisOneSayz: *getting caught filling up neighbor's trash can* Omg Karen, I just looove your trash can! Where did you get it?
@just1fool: The trick to a good AVI is finding your best characteristic and flaunting it. I obviously am a fan of my nostrils.
@mjkspeaks: [interview] HIM: have u ever bribed anyone? ME: *pulls a package of OREO's from briefcase and slides across table* depends on who's asking