@Bipartisanism: "Joe Biden and I are so close, some places in Indiana refuse to serve us pizza." - President Obama
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@deardilettante: Walking around cemeteries looking at headstones is a great way to come up with baby names.
@Mickey_McCauley: For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage "Wonderwall" on acoustic guitar and release him back to you
@iTomFoolery: If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza.
@katiefzack: I don't throw people under the bus because there's a chance they could lay flat in the center and not get hurt, which I'm not okay with.