@boring_as_heck: Joe was really good at making movie trailers. There was just one problem *car honk* he didn't have access to the record scratch sound effect
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@dafloydsta: 1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? -top 3 things on my mind when I'm in a a conversation
@NJPsychDoc: My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his better half. I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife to him as the lesser of two evils.
@Sickayduh: "What's this ticket, officer?" - Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"
@koalaslament: I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race.