@nickcreelman: Jogging, but with a car.
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@Manda_like_wine: In my dream I see us all standing together, throwing away differences and rallying for the abolition of mayo escape-holes in loaf bread.
@joeyfullystated: Stranger man at the beach asked me, "Y'all got a boat?" I said we have three, but they're old Fisher-Price models. It took him a moment.
@Michael1979: There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl
@BuckyIsotope: “My god, it’s the zombie apocalypse. Everyone grab the most critical items and get ready to run” *me holding a Shrek 2 DVD* Way ahead of you