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@hopiecan: how terrible do you think Maria von Trapp's life had to be that she included "doorbells" on her list of favorite things
@Eden_Eats: I hate it when baby boomers are like "your generation is too sensitive!". Like ok, Gail, I'm not the one writing 8 paragraph Yelp reviews because the restaurant was painted a color you didn't like.
@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up! Garage door is broken
@JediGigi: Me: Ugh I’ve gained so much weight Him: It’s ok, babe Me: [my eyes turn black as the sky darkens; a swarm of locusts encircle us; a priest faints and a demonic voice exits my mouth uttering a simple sound] Oh?