@robfee: Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ehchino: "What is your reason for divorce?" She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'
@Cheeseboy22: Remember, when you're driving in the snow, it's important to speed up and go as fast as you can so you don't get stuck.
@CulturedRuffian: Waiter: Would you like regular or decaf? Me: Do you want me to tip you with real money or Monopoly money?
@RunJeffreyRun: I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.