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@Jake_Vig: HER: I don't know what you'd do without me. ME: HER: Please stop imagining all those things. ME: Ok.
@ShutUpThatsWho: SCIENTIST: if we feed cows seaweed we can slash greenhouse gas levels [later] SCIENTIST [watching dead cows float in the ocean]: well shit
@onelongbender: This woman at work sounds just like me. I'm going to pay her to call my Mom and occasionally say mmhmm and how nice.
@OhSweetCharity: If you love someone, set them free. When they come back, because they will, make sure you are extremely happy with someone better looking.