@PAT_E_ROCK: Joined Match.com... And all I got was a lit cigarette
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: *pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let’s go to the hospital
@tree_bro: "Tens of Thousands of Ants Killed", reads the headline of Ant Daily newspaper every single day. It is hard to be an ant.
@Duke1173: I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says "oh great, dinner and a show." Priceless.
@jannable9: People can't drive. Take this guy behind me for example, doing 110 mph with flashing blue lights. What the hell is a ECILOP anyway??