@PAT_E_ROCK: Joined Match.com... And all I got was a lit cigarette
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@InternetHippo: [meeting her parents] GF (whispering): Please don't make a scene ME (angry-whispering): You told me there'd be cheese
@jonnysun: SOUND GUY: [taps microphone] this is a test, testing, testing…1, 2, 3.. MICROPHONE: [sweatig profusley] OH GOD, UH. FOUR?!! FOUR, IS IT FOUR
@Darchstar078: Fact: Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I fall into a pit of quicksand.
@Mouthy_: Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers.