@AnkCoupleTO: Joining Twitter instead of the circus was a pretty good move considering I'm a freak but not that talented
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@AmishPornStar1: Of course morning sex is better. You haven't spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.
@tastefactory: "My husband's a talented voice actor & his brother's a makeup artist but nah this old lady is a different person" -the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire
@TheHyyyype: WAITER: questions about the menu? ME: is it recycled paper? WAITER: no, i meant about what's on it ME: oh. what kind of ink is this?