@omgthatspunny: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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@_davidlucas_: If your human doesn't feed you immediately, run in front of their feet and trip them up. ~Cats, apparently.
@Shock_Monster: Anyone that says there are no stupid questions has never had to explain to a 5 year old why there are no pink bananas 267 times today.
@LimeyTheGreat: Panty-less waxed woman hanging off a bridge "I'm gonna jump into that canoe". Me: "No that's your reflection".
@zachv86: i saw this homeless guy talking to himself and i was like, "who is he talking to?" then i thought "who am I talking to?"