@omgthatspunny: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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@PeterClayton6: (Adobe CEO's house) Like the new couch hun? Update it. What about the wallpap… UPDATE IT ALL. You're scaring the ki… UPDATE THEM TOO…
@Adar79Angie: Since Walking Dead isn't on I've hid pot from my stoner friends. As they amble around looking for it I'm shooting them with paint ball guns.
@KentWGraham: My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
@PaperWash: before cameras, people would have to say "cheese" for two hours while they got their portrait painted