@mkesquire: Jokes on her! I LIKE sleeping on the couch.
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@AlexRogaski: The Chinese New Year is almost here. I know they're in another time zone, but 2 months behind seems a little extreme.
@rpbateman: This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote "sexy" on all of his wife's friends' pics.