@Dawn_M_: Joke's on my neighbour, I actually like being kept locked in his shed.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@panmidwest: [first date] HER: if you had to give up one of your senses which one would you choose? ME: definitely my ability to see dead people. HER:
@briangaar: Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting
@cbdoubleu: Well, I've got to hand it to you. -Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race.
@brianbowman73: Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?