@Dawn_M_: Joke's on my neighbour, I actually like being kept locked in his shed.
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@MikeCanRant: Thanks History Channel for letting me know that this scene showing General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn is a dramatization.
@BoogTweets: 911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY
@BuckyIsotope: [deathbed] Son….come closer “Yes dad?” We need a new man of the house “I’d-” *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister