@SortaBad: Jokes on you TSA my body is 70% water and I just snuck it onto the plane
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@AimeeHelene1: Geez, I'm so sorry...I'm not normally ticklish. (me to the nail lady I just kicked in the face during my pedicure)
@justliamwilson: So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now.
@Abusitron: [leaving 5 minute voicemail] ...and you can reach me at [deep breath] *says phone number as fast as possible, slurring the numbers together*