@SortaBad: Jokes on you TSA my body is 70% water and I just snuck it onto the plane
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.
@tastefactory: Me: For my 1st wish I want a box of Triscuits Genie:Are u sure? U can buy them at any store Me:My 2nd wish is for u to mind ur own business
@withanewname: [breaking up with girlfriend via the jumbotron] "Hey, check out the scoreboard while I grab a hot dog."
@fmanjoo: In general my philosophy is do whatever you want if it doesn't hurt people and it's not two spaces after a period.