@SortaBad: Jokes on you TSA my body is 70% water and I just snuck it onto the plane
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@doublewenis: Hey...quick question, fellas: Does it still count as leg day if you just shaved them?
@WilliamAder: Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it
@ArcaneAndAdrift: Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off