@TheTweetOfGod: Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions.
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@Vodkantots: How to deal with anger and resentment toward someone: 1. Write down feelings and put message in a bottle 2. Break bottle over person's head
@AnkCoupleTO: [breakfast table] Me: Who killed the entire box of Lucky Charms? 8: Not me 9: Not me CEREAL KILLER: Not me either
@AlexvanBeek: Cats that run under your legs display the same genius as someone walking into traffic.
@osigat: When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.