@maughammom: Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies.
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@stephenjmolloy: Me: "Can I buy you a drink?" Her: "I have a boyfriend." Me to barman: "A beer for me and a 'I have a boyfriend' for the lady."
@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.