@jmhuntsinger: Judging by the quality of some of your tweets I can tell this isn't the first time you've failed in life.
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@squirrel74wkgn: *looks over shoulder* *puts tiny piece of paper in trash* Wife (from upstairs): THAT CAN BE RECYCLED!!!
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: I'm not getting enough attention when I go out so I'm gonna wear a tight spandex suit w/ my underpants on the outside. --Superman, probably
@PoliUncorrect: *Crime Scene Cop: (cuffs the dog) Detective: what the hell are you doing? Cop: Sir, I think we're dealing with a shapeshifter