@NotthatAdamWest: Judging by the size of her models, I'm guessing Victoria's Secret is lots and lots of cocaine.
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@thatUPSdude: Hey people that knock on locked restroom doors, what are you expecting? "hey I'm taking a shit but come on in and join me"
@KeetPotato: [airport] "you should have used a tag" [a horse emerges on luggage belt] noone else has brought a horse linda [another horse appears] oh FFS
@Vodkantots: [on first date] Him: What's your sign? Me: Vertigo Him: You mean Virgo? Me: I mean your stupid fucking questions are making me dizzy.