@JasonLastname: Judging by their knives, the Swiss Army is mostly bartenders.
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@ComedicBust: GF: What a beautiful weekend. Let's go exploring. Me: [eating Cheetos in my underwear- looks directly at the camera]
@captainkalvis: Date: maybe go easy on the salt *i stand up so i can see over my pile of salt* Me: but what if there's a slug in my stomach Date: *trying* then you'd only need a little Me: *motioning to the server to bring more salt* what if its a family of slugs
@sweetandweak: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.