@RandomlyMJ: Judging from the sounds in my trunk this guy would have had an excellent career as a drummer.
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@aveuaskew: *walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*
@notalogin: You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets.
@lil_dead_girl_: I compulsively open my refrigerator in hopes that the portal to the other world has opened up. It hasn't so I had some cheese.