@RandomlyMJ: Judging from the sounds in my trunk this guy would have had an excellent career as a drummer.
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@TitansHomer: My daughter just asked for a Samsung Galaxy phone. Had to sit her down and explain to her we aren't poor. #iPhone
@tdawks: The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't.
@SouthernStylin1: A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: I don't think those fireworks look safe to use- Me: [lighting fireworks] who you think I'm gonna believe? You, or Six-Fingered Pete?