@MableGertrude: Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks.
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@Papa_Mex: 8:00am on a Saturday morning and my neighbor was mowing his lawn. Now he looks really funny covered in paint balls
@Reverend_Scott: [school] Ok class, what was Abraham Lincoln most famous for doing? Billy? "Abolishing slavery." And... "Slaying vampires." Very good.