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@therepoguy: Jumps into shower
Shower : I have a boyfriend
@Ivsy01: A guy in line next to me just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
@Thynebear: [buying condoms] Do you have anything bigger? Like if someone wanted to pretend to be a slippery ghost for a day, or something like that.
@jus4golf: I speak fluent hint. - No man anywhere, ever, never ever
@RoosterMustache: God: make alcohol really fun
Angel: haha ok
God: but it makes them stupid
Angel: i dont know if-
God: and if they have too much they die
@stephandyer: "It's not you, it's meat" - vegan break up