@nathandeschaine: Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn't have any common sense.
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@AndyAsAdjective: If you love something, set it free If you hate something, do origami If you're hungry, go watch a movie I don't understand how advice works
@noneofyours99: That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first.
@ComedicBust: Sometimes I'll casually say "what else do you want?" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me.
@WowItsStephen: "I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation.