@donsengstack: Jurassic Park 7: Nothing goes wrong and everyone just genuinely enjoys the company of the dinosaurs
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] "How do u kno the deceased?" I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.
@MiniiG: If you complain about not being able to find your boyfriends name on a keychain that store will think you have a boyfriend
@BuckyIsotope: 6/6/14 Dear Diary - Today was really great. Got a job as an intern with the CIA and sent a cool tweet. 6/7/14 Dear Diary - Guantanamo sucks.