@kyle_thatisall: Jurassic Park, but all of the raptors are played by Jim Carrey.
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@ilikeyouguys: Go to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me w that needle, I run off yelling 'thanks for the free shave loser!'
@MischievousJam: I ate 23k pounds of cream cheese yesterday. BUT, there were nuts in it and I yelled FITFAM the whole time so technically it was health food
@rohoxbaby: tip: glue a tiny mirror onto your drivers license photo so, when you hand it to the cops, they will get confused & arrest themselves instead