@mzeld: Just accidentally deleted all my contacts. Best day ever.
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@RickAaron: I made an appointment for laser hair removal then remembered that I don't have any laser hair.
@Rrrrnessa: Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me.
@MelShutUp: Wow thank you so much for whistling at me, guy in Walmart. I've never felt more beautiful.