@bourgeoisalien: Just accidentally messaged my husband "love you sexy beats" instead of "sexy beast" and now he thinks he’s some sort of DJ.
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@BuckyIsotope: Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing "The Real Slim Shady" over and over.
@KentWGraham: I’m glad humans don’t do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn't want to tell people I’m Germish.
@rolldiggity: It's going to be so disappointing if we ask aliens about crop circles and they're just like, "We hate corn."
@VaguelyFunnyDan: Ate shrooms & I feel nothing. Just an awful taste in my mouth. Also the dealer overcharged me. Also he's a centaur with spiders for lips