@AbbeYaar: Just accidentally used yahoo to search for something. I think the entire Yahoo! Search staff are having a party and high fiving each other.
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@batkaren: HIM: You know what we should do at our wedding reception? [at the same time] ME: Murder-suicide HIM: The chicken dance!
@EndhooS: 11 y/o Daughter: [opens xmas present] uh..cable ties? Wife: she asked for a pony.. Me: a pony? ..SHE CAN'T EVEN LOOK AFTER HER CABLES LINDA
@George_404: "Why'd you name me Carson, dad?" You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.
@Just_A_Guy72: NPR is reporting terrorists are using twitter. I call bullshit. After logging on, most of us aren't motivated enough to get dressed