@SideOfWine: Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects.
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@Thynebear: "You're bleeding because you don't floss" Me: No, I'm bleeding because I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room.
@vinnycrack: the best insult ever is "who is this clown" because 1. you're calling them a clown 2. you're saying they're not even a well known clown
@AmishPornStar1: I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters
@breatheandlove: The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre…they are back in style now.