@SideOfWine: Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: I give my stoner friends fruitcake for Christmas just so I can imagine them hating me a little while they can't help eating it.
@Black__Elvis: Just found a hole in my sock and now I'm worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
@michaelianblack: Fun fact: The hip word "chillax" is a combination of the slang term "chill" and the more traditional word "laxative."