@SideOfWine: Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects.
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@TheCatWhisprer: Telling my toddler not to chase the cat around with her nunchucks is easily the coolest thing I've ever said as a dad or a human.
@Sassafrantz: Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt.
@EndhooS: Yelling "PARKOUR" whenever your toddler falls over is an easy way to make him look like a cool free runner rather than a clumsy little idiot