@kumailn: Just ate a glazed donut flavored protein bar. It tasted like someone describing a donut to me while I shove sawdust into my mouth.
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@ItsFunnyLife: Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You'll know what I mean.
@tastefactory: Roses are infrared Violets are infrared I'm hunting you for sport And soon you'll be dead -a valentine from the Predator
@djdarrellripley: Her: Let's read your horoscope... Do you believe in astrology? Me: No. That's such a scam. Well, at least that's what my psychic says.
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.