@GrumpyBahr: Just ate at a Japanese restaurant and the entire staff was Hispanic. I don't know what is real anymore!
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@sarcasticmommy4: 13: Mom, you look younger every day. M: What do you want? 13: A new skateboard. M: How young? 13: 29 M: Done.
@thedailymarker: When life gives me lemons, I make lemon meringue pie..because lemonade is for amateurs...& because I'm gay..& we always take it up a notch.
@brianbowman73: Saw someone simultaneously walking while writing on a pad of paper. I yelled at them to text and drive like a normal person.
@yoyoha: STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life