@GrumpyBahr: Just ate at a Japanese restaurant and the entire staff was Hispanic. I don't know what is real anymore!
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@Underchilde: They say they’re free weights, but the gym gets pissed if you put them in your car and leave.
@13spencer: At this point, I think the people on "The Walking Dead" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them.
@briancthayer: [rap battle] Opponent: *crushes it* Me: Oh, I... umm. I thought this was something else... *hastily hides plastic wrap behind back*
@kentgrossarth: I've been interrogating this dog for hours and he still won't tell me who's a good boy.