@Sassafrantz: Just ate my last pair of edible undies, I guess it's time to get groceries.
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@TheBoydP: Protip: Never take your wife with you to your annual checkup. She will tell the doctor way too much about you.
@TheAlexNevil: Not to brag, but I was voted "Most Likely To Mention Something Truly Insignificant As If It Was A Big Deal" by everyone who has ever met me.
@dance_blessed: Your love is like Vicodin. You take away my pain but make me sick to stomach afterwards and you're also white.