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@iGreenMonk: "Just be yourself" is great advice to maybe 12% of people.
@jonnysun: ME: my ideal first date? well to me it dosent matter wat we do as long as we share a conection
JOB INTERVIEWER: i meant how soon can u start
@samalmightysam: Overweight people know they're overweight, tall people know they're tall, why is it that stupid people don't know what they are?
@ScottLinnen: Going as a hashtag for Halloween so everybody ignores me.
@KentTheG: It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol.
@Mr_Kapowski: Dogs that belong to homeless people must think "just say you're sorry dude and we can sleep inside tonight"