@iGreenMonk: "Just be yourself" is great advice to maybe 12% of people.
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@mstluvstrinkets: Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?
@EamonToPlease: [baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby.
@jackiembouvier: Substitute teaching 1st graders was not at all the Dead Poets Society experience I was hoping it would be.
@HatfieldAnne: Before you start your artisanal candle business ask yourself: does the world need one more lychee-scented soy candle? Or even one?