@FSUSteve: Just because a guy wants to see you naked it doesn't mean anything, I know a guy who drove 2 days to see a donkey show.
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@TheBoydP: If candy bars can be called cereal bars to make them sound healthy then why can't alcohol be called cereal drink?
@WheelTod: I was so touched last week when a shopkeeper handed my 3yo a donut without checking with me, that today I gave his teen a bag of heroin.
@TheDailySchmuck: If someone upsets you, write a nasty letter and file it away before you say something you might regret. Then punch the person in the face.
@GoldenSpirals: The greatest trick the devil ever played was offering a buy one get one free sale one day after you already purchased two at regular price.