@JElvisWeinstein: Just because I quit smoking doesn't mean I gave up getting up and randomly leaving the room for 10 minutes.
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@SergioValenCo: Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational tweets are hard.
@Smooheed: Showing that you can fit your fist in your mouth on the first date is only sexy if you can get it back out afterwards
@TheBeerGuy73: I consider it a personal victory everytime that I don't ask a person wearing a leg cast if they've broken their leg.
@TheSweetestD_: Reasons to jump: 1. Trampoline 2. Skydiving 3. Bungee jumping 4. Kris Kross made you