@TheRealRHB: Just because I reported several women to HR for not washing their hands after using the rest room doesn't mean the camera they found is mine
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@briangaar: Looking at the smoldering corpses of his enemies, Harry Potter thought "damn magic is dope as hell." #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
@just1fool: You're supposed to throw rice at new babies and their mothers, right? Traditions are weird.
@SteveSuckington: A letter to Paul from the Corinthians: Hey sup Paul. This is the Corinthians. This is my new number
@donni: When I die, I'm donating my body to Simons. I tell this to every Simon I meet. So far, they're not into it