@Underchilde: Just because I’ve lost my mind doesn’t mean I’m looking for it.
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@ShesARealGenius: Me: "I mean, how can Harry Potter be the best Quidditch Seeker when he's the only one with glasses?" Librarian: "Just pay your fine, Ma'am."
@maurex23: WINDEX CEO: listen, I can't have you making puns anymore. EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear-- CEO: you're fired.