@Underchilde: Just because I’ve lost my mind doesn’t mean I’m looking for it.
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@ch000ch: "My fellow Americans-" Barack "we are working tirelessly-" Sir "to make sure-" Barack. You're still wearing ur xbox headset
@CheryeDavis: The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby..
@jakefromstfarm3: When I was a kid I made all of my toys watch Toy Story so that they knew I was on to them.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Yesterday my daughter asked how babies are made, and I gave such a terrible explanation she now thinks babies come from eggs.