@IamEnidColeslaw: Just before a Subway employee starts making my sandwich, I'll stop them and whisper, "Like you mean it."
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@PyrBliss: I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
@Jake_Vig: Women never find it devilishly charming when I follow them into the lady's room. Thanks a lot, "Top Gun".
@JediGigi: Me: You're such a good boy. Dog: *tail wagging* Please leave the room so I can eat the couch.
@better_off_dad: *at divorce court Me: She hasn't touched Mr. Peppy in 10 years, your Honor. Judge: I'm sorry - What?? Her: I win, right?