@MumsieEsq: Just blocked all users from Central & South America. I doubt this "Zika" virus can spread thru social media but why take the risk?
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@QwertyJones3: Friend: I got a job as a carpenter, but it sucks. Me: No prob, just learn a few magic tricks and people will worship you as their savior.
@McGrumpenstein: My doctor doesn’t like it when he tells me to disrobe and I say “you first, I’m shy.”
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: I'm growing some vegetables. Me: What if the pig eats them? Wife: Then I'm growing porkchops.