@MumsieEsq: Just blocked all users from Central & South America. I doubt this "Zika" virus can spread thru social media but why take the risk?
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@NoticablyBacon: Me: lets go on a date Her: umm Me: what could go wrong *25 minutes later we are being chased by a pack of raccoons*
@Reverend_Scott: I wonder if anyone besides me has the bumper sticker, "Proud parent of your wife's kid."
@Jenny4ashley: Am I relying on you to cover up all these blood stains after murdering my ex? BLEACH I MIGHT BE
@david8hughes: Me: theres a man outside fighting with water Wife: the neighbour? Me: yes Wife: is he in the pool? Me: yes Wife: again, its called swimming